Building a strong and lasting Marriage begins with understanding the pillars of faith and love in marriage.
Marriage is an amazing relationship in which a couple says to each other, “This is who I am, please accept me and love me for the rest of my life.” It is true that being married is no guarantee for happiness and that the institution of marriage in Africa is in trouble because of rapid social change, shifting values, economic stress and weakened family structure.
The following are some Christian insights into understanding the ideal of what a Christian marriage should or could be.
Moreover, a relationship rooted in God’s Word, strengthened by trust and guided by prayer will stand firm through every season.
Marriage is more than just a legal union or an emotional connection it is a sacred covenant designed by God to reflect His love, faithfulness and grace. In Ephesians 5:25, husbands are instructed to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and wives are called to respect and support their husbands (Ephesians 5:22). This divine picture shows that marriage is meant to be a living testimony of God’s love to the world. But building a marriage that stands firm through life’s storms requires more than feelings; it requires intentionality, faith and daily commitment to God and to each other.
A beautiful marriage is not about the size of the house but the strength of its foundation. I have here identified six pillars of marriage. These pillars of love and faith in marriage need each to be strengthened in order for it to stand. They are foundational.
1. Communication The Cornerstone of the Pillars of Faith and Love in Marriage
Every strong marriage is built on healthy communication. It is through honest and loving conversation that couples connect deeply, resolve conflicts, and grow together. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Communication grounded in love and faith nurtures understanding and prevents resentment.
Speak with Honesty and Kindness
Being transparent about your feelings, needs and struggles fosters trust and emotional closeness. Always speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), choosing words that build up rather than tear down.
Listen with Empathy
Communication is not just about speaking it’s about listening with your heart. Show your spouse that their thoughts and feelings matter by giving them your full attention and responding with compassion.
2. Trust A Vital Pillar of Faith and Love in Marriage
Trust is the glue that holds a marriage together. Without it, even love and affection can crumble. Trust grows when both partners are honest, consistent and reliable in both big and small matters. Proverbs 3:3–4 advises, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you… Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.”
Keep Your Promises
Following through on commitments, no matter how small, builds confidence and shows your spouse they can depend on you. Trust strengthens when words and actions align.
Forgive and Rebuild
No one is perfect and mistakes will happen. Choosing forgiveness, extending grace and patiently rebuilding trust after it is broken demonstrates Christlike love and humility (Colossians 3:13).
3. Respect And Honoring One Another as a Pillar of Faith and Love in Marriage
Respect is the way a person treats something he or she values. If something is highly valued, a person will treat it with honor and dignity. One does not mistreat it or discard it. A valid question to ask is, “How much do I value my spouse?”
Respect is about recognizing and honoring each other’s individuality, boundaries and God-given roles. It ensures that disagreements don’t turn into disrespect and keeps the partnership balanced and healthy. Romans 12:10 encourages us to “Honor one another above yourselves.”
Without respect both partners feel devalued. That devaluation erodes this pillar and causes coldness towards one another. 1 Peter 2:17 says, “Show proper respect to everyone.”
Value Differences
No two people are the same and that’s by God’s design. Embracing your differences as strength rather than weaknesses.
Support Dreams and Callings
Encouraging your spouse’s goals and supporting their God-given calling shows respect for them as an individual, not just as couple.
4. Love and Affection – The Heart of Pillars of Faith and Love in Marriage
Love is more than an emotion, it’s a daily choice and an action. It’s the decision to put your spouse’s needs before your own, just as Christ did for the Church. 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 beautifully describes love as patient, kind, and enduring, the kind of love that sustains a marriage.
Most people, when they are asked, “Do you love your spouse?” will consider the question from the perspective of being “in love.” In other words, they answer whether or not they feel love at the moment. “Do you love your spouse?” however, is more a question of one’s actions. When asked, “Do you love your spouse,” the answer should be based on actions toward one’s husband or wife. If the answer is, “yes, I love my husband/wife,” then one should be saying, “I am giving myself to him/her.”
Nurture Emotional and Physical Intimacy
Marriage thrives when couples feel safe and connected both emotionally and physically. Small gestures like holding hands, sharing your heart, or simply being present strengthens your bond.
Practice Daily Acts of Kindness
Consistent, loving actions — from words of affirmation to helping with everyday tasks remind your spouse they are cherished and valued.
5. Shared Values and Goals as a Pillar of Faith and Love in Marriage
A marriage built on shared values and aligned goals stands strong against challenges. Amos 3:3 asks, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” When couples are united in their beliefs, vision, and direction, they can face life’s trials as a team.
Align Financial and Life Goals
Money is one of the most common sources of marital conflict. Discuss financial priorities, budgeting and long-term goals openly and prayerfully.
Agree on Family and Lifestyle Choices
Unity in parenting is more than just raising children together it’s about creating harmony, consistency and shared purpose in how you nurture, guide and discipline them. It means both parents are committed to walking side by side, presenting a united front even when they have different opinions or parenting styles.
It does not mean you will always agree on everything disagreements are normal. But in a unified parenting approach, parents communicate, compromise and decide together before presenting decisions to their children. This teaches kids that their parents respect one another and that the family is built on cooperation and love.
6. Prayer and God’s Presence Pillar of Faith and Love in Marriage
No marriage can thrive without God at its center. Prayer invites His wisdom, strength and peace into your relationship. Ecclesiastes 4:12 teaches, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” A marriage built on God’s Word and prayer will stand strong even in life’s fiercest storms.
Pray Together and for Each Other
Make prayer a daily habit as a couple. It draws you closer to God and to one another, creating a deep spiritual bond.
Build on the Word of God
Study the Bible together and apply its principles to your marriage. God’s Word is the ultimate guide for navigating challenges and growing in love and faith.
Want to keep growing together checkout.
