When love feels heavy, I’ve always been a woman with dreams — big ones. Growing up, I never waited for anyone to hand me what I wanted. Instead, I pushed myself to work and learn early. I started working at just sixteen, not because I had to, but because something deep inside me whispered, “You can do more.”
My first job was as a minder at Dominican Royale International School in Port Harcourt. I earned only ₦6,000 a month, yet that little salary meant the world to me. It wasn’t about how much I made; it was about the purpose behind it. Even then, I could afford my own things and although life wasn’t perfect, I felt proud, independent and hopeful for the future.
Looking back, I see that those early lessons in independence shaped my values. I learned that work wasn’t just about money — it was about building character, resilience and faith in God’s plan.
When Life Happened
At 24, I got married. At first, I believed love would be the next beautiful chapter of my story — and truly, it was for a while. However, as the days turned into months and years, something quietly began to change. The girl who once worked hard to build her dreams started fading away, little by little.
It hurts. It truly does. Because deep down, I know that’s not who I am. I was made for more. I was made to love, yes — but also to shine, to serve, to grow and to fulfill the purpose God placed in me.
Marriage has tested my faith in many ways. But I’m learning that faith in marriage doesn’t mean losing yourself; it means trusting that even when things look broken, God can rebuild both hearts and dreams.
Marriage is a period in life where couples are stretched on all sides — your patience, hard work, Godliness and every aspect is tested”. This reminded me that struggle doesn’t equal failure — it is part of growth.
Losing Myself in Love
Now, there are days I look at myself and barely recognize the woman staring back. Sometimes, I sit quietly and wonder, “How did I get here?”
I can’t even afford the simplest things for myself anymore, not because I’m lazy, but because I’ve lost that part of me that once stood tall and strong. It hurts because I’ve always been the kind of woman who found a way, even when life was hard.
There are moments when I just cry, not out of hatred, but out of exhaustion. I feel like a shadow of the woman I used to be — the one who fought through challenges with courage and grace. Still, deep down, I know she’s somewhere inside me, waiting to rise again.
Finding My Faith Again when Love feels Heavy
Even in the middle of my tears, I still hear God’s gentle whisper reminding me:
“You are clothed with strength and dignity, and you can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs31:25
Maybe this season isn’t meant to break me; maybe it’s meant to rebuild me. Perhaps God is using my pain to teach me patience, faith, and the true meaning of love — the kind that requires both giving and self-worth.
Although I may not understand everything right now, I’m learning to trust that God is still working behind the scenes. Step by step, He is helping me rediscover who I am and reminding me that my dreams still matter.
What Love and Faith in Marriage have Thought me
Love and faith in marriage are not just about staying together — they’re about growing together. When one person feels small, love should lift them up. When faith wavers, both hearts should pray, not pull apart.
I’ve learned that true love doesn’t silence your dreams — it celebrates them. And faith doesn’t end when life gets hard — that’s when it begins.
Slowly, I’m taking small steps again. Writing. Creating. Believing. And even though I’m still healing, I’m trusting that God will use this story to help another woman find her voice again
As John Piper reminds us, the strength of marriage lies not in perfection but in perspective and perseverance, pillars of faith and love in marriage.
“A Christian marriage is not only a union between two people, but faith as well. Both parties strive to put God first instead of themselves, and practice unconditional love which lasts long after notions of romantic love have faded.” — from Wise Sayings.
This echoes the truth that marriage is as much about faith as it is about love.
A Message to Every Woman when Love Feels Heavy
To the woman reading this who feels unseen, unappreciated or trapped in silence please know this: your value isn’t lost. You are not a failure because your life looks different from what you dreamed.
Your purpose is still alive. God still has plans for you — plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).
So rise again. Speak again. Dream again. You deserve love, peace and a life that reflects the beauty God placed inside you.
God hasn’t forgotten you — not for a second. You are still that strong, capable and beautiful woman He created. Love should not silence your dreams or take away your light; rather, it should help it shine even brighter.
So, even when life feels heavy and uncertain, hold on to your faith. Keep believing that you can rebuild yourself, little by little. Remember that your value doesn’t fade just because circumstances have changed.
Because someday soon, you’ll look back and realize that even through the tears, God was writing your comeback story.
You are still that woman — strong, capable and loved. Don’t let your circumstances make you forget your worth.
Conclusion
Maybe your story, like mine, didn’t go the way you hoped. But that doesn’t mean it’s over. When love feels heavy and faith may feel weak, but together, they can still rebuild something beautiful.
And that’s the miracle of love and faith in marriage — not that it’s perfect, but that it survives, heals, and learns to hope again.
1. Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted…”
2. Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you…”
